During my years of coaching, I find that most women are afraid to say NO! This stems from a deep belief of not “enoughness”. I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy enough, I don’t do enough, I’m not important enough, I’m not… you get the idea.  All of this leads to increased stress, over-commitment and a general lack of self-care.

Stop in the name of Love! You are important, you are good enough and you do deserve more happiness and joy.

This sense of not enough contributes to a deeply held fear of others not liking who we really are if they only knew the truth. Women tend to overcompensate and overextend themselves to make up for their perceived lack. I urge you to live from a place of personal authenticity and universal wholeness. I want you to know that you are a good person even if you say no to someone.

In my own pursuit of happiness, I discovered the power of NO! When asked to do something, go somewhere, volunteer for some worthy cause, drive, bake, babysit or any other task, please consider the following very carefully.

First, let me share with you some research to convince you.  Happy people are volunteers and understand about contribution. In October 2006, researchers at the National Institute of Health’s Cognitive Neuroscience Section presented a neurological basis for the greater levels of contentment associated with acts of kindness or altruism versus acts of self-gratification.

Now that we understand it is beneficial to be kind and altruistic let me bang the velvet hammer! If you overextend yourself you are not performing an act of service, you are being a martyr at your own expense. And did you know that this can actually cause a decrease in your immunity to colds and flus.Sick-time becomes the only time you give yourself a break and rest.

You are enough! You are a valuable and necessary part of this mosaic of humanity. Love yourself enough to say NO! You are enough just as you are and making excellent decisions that shape your world. Release any judgment or self-criticism; you cannot be all things to all people. You can be true to yourself, your values and your inner needs.  Life unfolds its wonderful opportunities before you and you can select from them with excitement and delight.

Hence NO is a complete sentence. You can say no and you do not need to offer any excuse. Choose your activities carefully and with thought.

  • What gets you really juiced?
  • What feeds your soul’s desires?
  • Where do you feel your unique gifts and talents are most appreciated and needed?

When you say yes to a request of any kind, make sure that you will be in the right state of mind, fully present and enjoying the moment. This is your life and your happiness depends on your mindset.

As you give from this sense of your own completeness, you will reap the rewards!

Happiness, health, and vitality will be yours.

Gracefully and peacefully say yes to what matters and NO to the rest. This is the sure road to happiness!