Recently while I was out walking with my dog in the River Valley I came across two women in an argument – while I am not privy to all of the details I did hear,“this friendship is just not working for me I’m sorry I have to let you go.”
Ouch!
Letting go of a friendship that is no longer serving you or being on the receiving end of a letting is uncomfortable, sad, difficult and confusing. Throughout my life, I have been both the dumpee and the dumper.As the person who chooses to release a friendship or relationship that is not working or perhaps even toxic may seem easier. However many of us don’t like confrontation or conflict.
Inmyopinionwe do one of three things;
- Silent treatment
- Direct
- Fade
I have been on the receiving end of the silent treatment, where the person just does not respond to your calls any longer. This absolutely bewildered me. I have no idea what went wrong, I kept trying to reach out knowing how busy the other person was until finally, I realized I had been ousted. This hurt me more than the direct approach.
In the direct approach, both parties are clear that your paths are divergent and no longer in sync and both parties can move forward with clarity. This can be done in person or with an explanatory letter (I don’t recommend a text or a voicemail). In the fade approach, you gradually sever your ties by lengthening the space between your get-togethers and never have an honest conversation. This keeps the emotional investment and stress levels much higher.
As human beings, relationships are the cornerstone of our happiness and well-being. If a relationship is not serving you I encourage you to use the direct approach so that both parties can move forward with clarity and understanding, free from guilt and other debilitating emotions.
A clean break is best, with transparency, care, and compassion.
To your Outrageously Happy Relationships!
Yours,
Elizabeth Manuel
Happiness Expert
